Thursday, 12 July 2012


Looks like an interesting legal day tomorrow with the man convicted of demanding money with menaces from Nick's family being sentenced at Carlisle Crown Court. Fittingly perhaps, Friday the 13th will also see the verdict in the John Terry racism trial after the Crown failed to extract a confession today.

My understanding is that the judge dismissed calls from the prosecution for an inquisition by fire on the basis that Mr Terry might be tempted to plead guilty to the lesser charge of being in league with demons. However, no plea was forthcoming and Mr Terry remains at large with the Metro News predicting this evening a consequent increase in spoiled crops and dead livestock within a thirty mile radius of Stamford Bridge.

The BBC is still pressing ahead with its special documentary about sorcery in football which will be screened on Monday night. Speculation persists that should Mr Terry walk free the BBC, the FA and black professionals within the game will use his trial as a springboard to demand the inclusion of a partial roasting at the stake in order to increase rates of conviction.